End-of-Life Support

What is a death doula?

The word doula comes from an ancient Greek word and means person of service. 

Death doulas offer non-medical, holistic care and support to a dying person (and possibly their family) before, during, or after death. 

Doulas come to this work from a variety of backgrounds, and as such, focus their work in different areas. 

As a result of my work with the dead, I learned that we die the way that we live.

Would you like to create an end-of-life plan for yourself or care for your own after death? If so, please read on.

Best 3 Months Coaching & Care Planning

DESCRIPTION

Imagine: You have 3 months to live, and you can make them the very best they can be. All you need is a vision and thoughtful plan with others to help you fulfill it!

This is not an advance directive.

It is a B3M: End of Life Priority and Care Plan: A way to prepare to experience completion, contentment, and fulfillment during your final months and weeks of life.

(The context for this, whether Truth or Fiction, is that you only have 3 months to live from the health and age you are right now.)

In our sessions, we will identify your end-of-life priorities, current reality, and action steps for a life-fulling end of life vision in one of each of these:

FIVE DOMAINS OF LIFE

Physical: Creating Comfort, Safety and Healing Environment

You consider what is most important for your physical body and comfort.  You will receive questions to help you contemplate and lean into discovering your answers.  Example questions:

·  How would you like to be cared for physically?

·  Where would you like to be during the last weeks and months of your life?

·  Who would like to attend to you physically if needed?

Emotional: Honoring Feelings and Relationships

You consider what is most important for your emotional needs and heart.  You will receive questions to help you contemplate and lean into discovering your answers.  Example questions:

·  Describe your emotional life.

·  What is your relationship with emotions?

·  What relationships are important to you and need healing or completion?

Spiritual: Honoring Beliefs and Practices

You consider what is most important for you spiritually.  You will receive questions to help you contemplate and lean into discovering your answers.  Example questions:

·  How do you define Spirit?

·  What are your beliefs about the afterlife?

·  What questions or curiosities do you have about spirit and death?

Mental: Legacy Life Review

You consider what is most important for your mind to feel settled and complete.  You will receive questions to help you contemplate and lean into discovering your answers.  Example questions:

·  What’s given your life meaning?

·  What is the most important moment in your life?

·  What might you want or need to do to feel complete before your physical death?

Practical: Honoring the Body after Death

You consider and determine your wishes for your after-death planning.  You will receive questions to help you contemplate and lean into discovering your answers.  Example questions:

·  What do and don’t you want to happen to your body after death?

·  How do you want your body to be cared for?

·  Who will care for your body?

WHAT TO EXPECT:

This program assumes that the participant has three (3) months to live and is designed to help them prepare for their end-of-life journey as it relates to the five (5) domains of life. 

The Best 3 Months program consists of six (6) sessions.  The first session is 60-minutes and typically includes room for introductions and orientation to the process.  The subsequent five (5) sessions will focus on one (1) of the above stated domains. A set of reflection questions related to the associated domain is provided when the session is scheduled.  The participant will share their answers at least 24-hours before the scheduled session.  This information will be used to:

·  Identify what is most important to you

·  Discuss what you value most

·  Identify what you will need and what you can’t live without

·  Explore your hopes, dreams and expectations

·  Choose who will help you fulfill your plan

In this process, we will identify your current reality and desired outcome for your last 3 months of life in each domain.  Our work together will be to establish how to move from your current reality to your desired vision.  During our conversations, I will assist you in determining realistic action steps or steppingstones to get you from your current reality to your desired outcome, and upon completion, you’ll be provided with a Vision Map (PDF Document) of what you want to have happen.

WHO IS IT FOR?

Adults (18 and over) who are near end-of-life or who are not knowingly so and who are interested in creating a thoughtful and intentional plan to enliven their vision of their last three months of life.  

Home Funeral Educator

DESCRIPTION

Home funerals are legal in all states, and only nine states require the participation of a funeral director.  They normalize and diminish fears around death and can teach children (and adults) about our normal human life cycle.  

Caring for our own after death allows for the natural flow of emotions and the meeting and integration of grief in a different way. Home funerals can also be more cost effective and allow people to move through the steps of caring for their dead on their own timeline.

Are you interested in caring for your own after death?

After-death bodycare can include: 

• Laying out of the dead for a period of hours or days

• Properly cooling the body

• Providing bodycare (bathing, anointing, clothing)

• Conducting ceremony or ritual

If you are interested in caring for your own after death, we can provide assistance in understanding how to navigate the systems we have in place according to the law in Colorado.  Information about caring for humans after death, state laws and regulations, suggestions for body care, body cooling techniques, etc. is also available on the National Home Funeral Alliance webpage and the Funeral Consumers Alliance webpage.

WHAT TO EXPECT

Sessions are in 60-minute blocks and are held via Zoom (online). 

Conversation about home funerals typically includes

• learning about gaining access to our dead via the laws in Colorado

• navigating the systems we have in place to do that

• the basics of what a home funeral is or can be for some people

• education around how to care for and properly cool a body at home or in another location for a period of hours to days

• options on partnering with a funeral home for some, none, or all of the tasks involved including transportation of the decedent/body, completion of and filing the death certificate, and/or final disposition. 

There can also be discussion about what it means to bring caring for our dead back into the hands of the community, and some are curious about ceremony and ritual.

WHO IS IT FOR?

Adults (18 and over) who are:

• interested in learning about having access to their dead according to the law in Colorado

• curious about home funerals and/or providing after-death care

• interested in being in relationship with our normal human life cycle